The ride down was really pleasant. It was a nice change to speak with adults. We first went to Wal Mart where I was able to use the $200 given to us by the after-school program to buy a Tag Leap Frog system. I am pretty stoked about it. I also got six books to go with it (pretty pricey).
After that, things went downhill. We went over to the restaurant where I proceeded to be permanently awkward. I have never done well in large group settings--especially when I don't know/like anyone really well. It didn't help that everyone else--and I mean everyone else--either had a roommate present or a significant other. Furthermore, the fact that I have almost nothing in common with the majority of the corps, aside from our classrooms, made conversation very difficult for me. I realized that all was hopeless when the only other Christian there asked me "So, what do you do to socialize?" When I replied that my social life mainly included 8-10year olds, the school's custodian and the family of one of my students, he was speechless. I believe that my response solidified in his head his belief that I am a complete social pariah and likely a holier-than-thou type Christian. Perhaps that is why of all my teammates, he and I probably talk the least, though we have Jesus in common. It was a real bummer.
After the mortifying lunch, things got worse. I wasn't sure they could, but they did. My ride had a meeting at 5:00pm so his fiance and I waited around for nearly two hours. She wanted a hair cut so we walked around Rapid in the freezing wet cold, but to no avail. When J was finally done with his meeting, it was 7:00 and really time to go. I had planned on being back by 6:00, so I really was behind in my work schedule. As we said our goodbyes and prepared to head home, a corps member warned him to be careful of the icy roads. It planted a seed of fear in his East-coast head. After about seven minutes of driving, he decided we would spend the night. I was horrified.
I immediately proceeded to text another friend from Kyle and ask if she would take me home. She agreed, but the catch was that she was at the bar. And so, my ice-fearing friends dropped me off at the bar and the next nightmare stage of my evening began.
I have always felt uncomfortable around heavy drinking. I do not like how it makes people act. I especially do not like when people who have authority over me and whom I respect, make fools of themselves drinking. As I looked around from face to face, my ears recoiling against the sound of too-high-pitched laughter, I was deeply saddened. The room was filled with some of the most intelligent people in the nation. These individuals had attended the best colleges in our country and earned grades many would die for. They would no doubt become leaders of our nation one day. And they also were passionate about ending educational inequality. These were exceptional people. But tonight all that was forgotten. They were simply drunk young adults, making passes on one another, egging each other on and attempting to drown the pain they simply couldn't cope with. It was all too much for me.
After we finally left (my driver does not drink), my sadness only deepened as I was privy to all the gossip of the corps. I will not go into details, but I was horrified by the unprofessionalism of the corps and some of the staff. It also made me angry. Where did these people find time to have Days of Our Lives-type lives? These kids need us--all of us.
But then I remembered something my big sister once told me: "Brittany, you can't expect darkness to produce light." My younger sister added, "Be Jesus." This reminded me that I am here night only to serve and love the children in my school, but to be Jesus to my team, for it is He alone who can drive out darkness.
Please pray for my team,
B
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