The Ripple Effect

There is no doubt that crazy M was very harshly rebuked for leaving without me. When she saw me today, the first thing she told me was "My grandma told me to tell you that I am sorry that I got you fired." Nice. I try to explain to her that I was not fired, but that I had resigned. Of course, she had no idea what that meant, so I had to tell her that I quit, which isn't really true--my contract only included the fall semester. I simply chose not to renew my contract for the spring. Anyway, after I told her that I 'quit' she looked up with sad eyes and said, "Did you quit because of me?" I almost cried. I cupped her little face in my hands and assured her she is the very last reason that I would quit. It was not her fault, but mine.

This incident disturbed me today, but it was even worse after I got this letter from her cousin today--the girl who had gone to the bathroom and had told me she was worried that Crazy M had left without her. Read what she wrote to me:

"Dear Miss Brendsel,

I'm sooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sorry I'm so sorry that I will do anything if you forgive me I swere I will do anything. Im so sad. When my granma first toll me [you quit] I thought that you quit your hole job I was scared when I thought that I was about to faint. I'm emberessed to go to school now. I wished it never happened I wished I never went to that feild trip. your the best teacher in the world. If you quit, I would be mad at myself forever,

Love, H"

I cried my eyes out. I am still crying.

B

P.S. My aide gave my director my letter of resignation today. She was apparently very upset. She told him, "Did you hear that she lost a student?!" Who hasn't?