Too tired to write a title...

The last few weeks have been very difficult ones for me, for a variety of reasons. This week hasn't started off much better as I came into the week with three hours of sleep.

I am not a person that is found of drama, believe it or not. I especially dislike interpersonal drama and heartily attempt to avoid it. However, it seems of late I am just surrounded by people by relationships where there is strife and struggle, discontent and disdain. What horrifies me even more is the fact that I feel that I have allowed myself to be drawn into the fray at times. I when I pause right now and consider the state of my life and my soul, I really can't say that I am pleased.

I found today that it is very likely that my classroom may be exempt from "significant gains" this year. Sig-gains are the ultimate quantifiable goal of every TFA corps member. A teacher achieves sig-gains if his or her students grow 1.5 years in Reading or the students earn a cumulative 80% average or higher on their exams. My class will very easily meet both goals. They challenges remains in the fact that because of a lack of communication I may be missing a necessary component that 'proves' that my children have in fact mastered Social Studies material. In other words, my children may be exempt from recognition because of a technicality, not because they did not truly achieve sig-gains.

It is difficult to express how frustrated I am by all of this. But as I sit here, wondering if I all I have worked has come to nothing, I get a more clear perspective. You see, who cares? I know that my children have learned this year. I know that they have grown this year. I know that they can rest in the confidence that I love them. No technicality can nullify this.

But all the same, I am really fighting feelings of discouragement and inadequacy. I feel like all I can see right now is my weakness--not His strength. I ask that you would pray for me and for my children.

B