The Blues, Lulu and The Blueberry

Today was a very difficult day. I think it was one of the first days of the year where I spent a large portion of the day disliking my children. They seemed surprisingly disrespectful today.

I woke up this morning exhausted and in a foul mood. I was seriously mad at God for making me get up. I was even more peeved because my foot is really, really sore today. And so, my energy level was very low today, which the kids can always sense. I really had the blues.

My negative sentiments were directed towards the children when S, my little attitude girl, was caught sucking on candy. The children know the rules and when they purposefully break them, it annoys me. However, I got really annoyed when I got her again not ten minutes later with another piece in her mouth! We soon transitioned into silent reading where they read silently for 50 minutes. Today, however, they chose not to be silent. To make matters worse, little W, the daughter of my best friend out here, was one of the people talking. I almost never have to remind her to be on task, so today was an off day for her. Because the talking continued, I had to send all three kids back to their desks. At that time, I caught M (who was late today), chewing gum. I was very annoyed because she had just seen me rebuke the girl across from her for her candy. But things got all the more tense when not five minutes later, a student comes up to me and says M is chewing gum. I made her come over to my desk and open her mouth. I saw her quickly swallow the gum before opening up. That irked me all the more. But I really got tense when I realized not five minutes later that she had started to pretend she was chewing stuff just to get a rise out of me and the other students. I took her out into the hallway and had a firm talk with her. I took away her recess and P.E. privileges and made her spit out the paper she was chewing. I think she liked playing games with my head, which frustrated me all the more.

I wasn't the only teacher stressed the day. A fellow TFA corps member was so frustrated she had someone cover for her for 5 minutes while she vented in the bathroom. Her and I moaned and complained in Spanish for awhile, but it didn't make me feel too much better.

By lunch time, I purposed in my heart that it was time to change my attitude. I made myself repeat over and over again "I love my students." Love really is a choice, not a feeling. When W came in from recess because she was wearing slippers in the snow, I watched her circle the classroom and make an effort to tidy things up. Her little gestures were just precious. Finally, I asked her to come over to me and give me a hug. I wrapped in my arms and held her their until I remembered why I love my students so much. From that moment on, the rest of the day was much better.

My heart really softened as my kids stood in line to rotate classes. One of my boys said that Lulu, one of my favorite students, had threatened to beat up another kid. Surprised, I asked if this was true. She quickly denied it. I then asked her, "Are you lying to me?" I was shocked when she threw her arms around me, buried her head in my stomach and cried, "Yes!" She clung to me and wouldn't let go, clearly remorseful. (I think the remorse was in part a result of my lecture earlier in the day about our class' problem with lying). I later found out that Lulu had made that comment only after a boy had declared he was going to beat someone in our classroom up. She saucily had replied, "I will beat you up then!" I didn't punish her.

In addition to Lulu's reminder of why I love my kids, little M was up to her hilarious ways. I noticed early on in the morning that she had a blue streak on her face. Upon closer examination I realized that there were blue marker marks all over her face and completely covering her ears. When I asked her what happened, she told me that her sister gave her beautiful earrings. I roared with laughter after this comment. With her purple coat and blue face, she truly resembled a blueberry. I tried to wipe some of the marker off, but school started. Therefore, she pranced around the entire day with blue smears all over her face. She look 100% ridiculous and I loved her all the more for it!

I have included some pictures of the infamous little M and myself on our last field trip to Rapid.