Submission: (Warning: I Doubt Most of My Girl Friends Will Like This)

I see a lot of broken homes living on this Rez. In fact, I would venture to say that at least 75% of my children live in homes without fathers. I would say nearly half live with their grandmother. This brokenness of the family has got me thinking about how the family structure was designed to function. In particular, I have been pondering what a husband and wife's relationship should look like.

Somewhere along the way, I started to believe that the idea that a woman should have to submit to her husband was outdated and more of a cultural thing than an applicable command that should be followed today. As I am a very reflective person, I started to ask myself why my hair bristles when someone suggests that a woman should submit to her husband. This is what I came up with:

Whenever I picture myself submitting to my husband, I can almost feel the tension and anger within me. Clearly, in submitting to my husband, I am silencing the call I have in my life and devaluing who I am as a person. Today, after listening to a thought-provoking sermon on Ephesians 5, I realized that the problem with my mental image is that I am always submitting to a beastly husband. Surprised, I transposed ogre husband with a man passionate after God's own heart. Suddenly, I find myself surprised at the realization that I would not only be wiling to submit to a man who loved the Lord and that I respected--I may actually appreciate this.

In all honesty, I can't think of one godly reason why I shouldn't submit to my husband (assuming I marry a godly man). I can't point to a scripture verse that says that I am head of the household. I can't even pretend to think that this would mean giving up the call God has on my life. I know that if God requires this of woman, the opposite would be the case--I would only draw closer to Jesus.

Finally, I think we often forget that men have, perhaps, an even more difficult command than we women. Paul extorts men to "love their wives as Christ loves the church." Wow. Now, I want you to think back to that act of Jesus, washing His disciples feet. Now super-impose that image with your husband. That is what He is called to do for you. Beautiful. Difficult. Amazing.

Thus, I have concluded that my resistance to submission is born not out of a godly fear of not fulfilling what God has called me to fulfill, but of pride. This pride has only been fed by growing up in a culture that boisterously declares that women do not need men. Though I believe that none can complete us by our Savior, I disagree that women do not need men. I think we need each other. I have come to this conclusion after working every day with 30-some children who have grown up without fathers. If you don't believe me, ask one of my father-less students if they would rather have both their father and mother or a super-mom, going-it-alone. I assure you, every time they would pick the father.

Just some thoughts, which may be revised at a later date.

B