The Dream: Part II

In the forty-eight hours following the aforementioned dream my friend had, I thought a lot about what the dream could mean. All I could think was that it must have meant that my marriage would follow apart.

But then it hit me: I was neither feeling conviction nor encouragement from this dream. In fact, the only emotion I felt was fear. You see, for a long, long time now, I have had a very serious fear of having what I would call a 'bad marriage.' Some of my friends are quick to dismiss this possibility. However, some of my closest friends on this earth are currently in extremely difficult and painful marriages. These are God-fearing, beautiful, intelligent and wise individuals and each one is going through such a hard time right now. So why should my marriage be any different?

But I have been realizing something over these past few days. My idea of a 'bad' marriage is a bit skewed. When I think "good marriage" I think happy, passionately in love, Christ-centered couples who never--or at least rarely--argue. But more and more, I am wondering if that really is a fair measurement. I now think that I classify marriages as "bad" when the husband and wife cease to strive to be more like Christ and in turn, cease to treat one another as Christ has called us to. It is the struggle and the perseverance that makes the marriage beautiful. In fact, when I think back to each of my friends who are going through the fire in their marriage, each one continues to cling to Jesus and press on. Isn't that even more honorable--or at least equally so--than those couples who encounter smooth sailing for the majority of their marriage. And if I am right in assuming that the purpose of marriage is not to make you happy, but to make you holy, it would seem virtually inevitable that we would undergo times of great struggle and even pain as we are refined into the image of our Creator.

Thus, I have concluded that I am not destined to have a 'bad marriage.' The dream, is likely not from the Lord as it in no way draws me closer to Him, convicts me or encourages me. It just burdened me with a spirit of fear. And so, I have thrown off that burden and am choosing to believe that if God does call me to marry, our marriage will be one in which my husband and I honor one and other and glorify our Father.

B

P.S. Teton told me today that after considering the dream, he now believes it was a projection of the struggles in his own marriage, not a prophecy of what was to come in mine. I think it no coincidence that he told me this after I had begun the process of surrendering my fear to God.