Bring the Rain

It is very late and I haven't planned what I am going to do tomorrow. Instead, I have been talking with some incredible ladies about faith and trials. Speaking with them has encouraged me so much. Here are some things that I am thinking right now.

Living with Maria Rapha has been very tough--much tougher than I imagined for completely different reasons then I imagined. I don't mind the cooking, having to work at home, etc. What I don't like is having to put someone else's needs before mine at all times. I don't like surrendering my independence. I don't like facing my flaws and having to deal with them on a daily basis. But then again, maybe I do.

The Lord is with me. I am not walking this path alone. 1 Peter 1:6 says "In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. 7These have come so that your faith—of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire—may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed." James adds "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything."

Do I want to be mature? Do I want to be complete? So badly. I want to grow in the Lord. I simply cannot do that if I do not face trials. What I am going through right now is going to, and is, making me a stronger person. And you know what? God promises that He will never give me beyond what I can endure. That means that the Lord knows that I can handle this through His strength. What I am experiencing right now are merely growing pains. But I choose to rejoice this. No matter what I feel like, I cling to the hope that is set before me in Jesus Christ. I rest in the hope found in Banny's favorite Bible verse: "He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.

Dear Father, right now my flesh hates what I am going through. There is so much about this situation which I recoil against. But I am clinging to you. I believe with all of my heart that what I am going through has been sent by you for my benefit and the benefit of Maria Rapha and all the other people I come in contact with. I choose, right now, to trust in you. Dare the potter turn to the clay and question the work of His hands? No, I dare not. I will not. Instead, I will submit myself to be molded and formed to be more like you. I trust you. There is no safer place than in your hands. You are everything to me.

Love, your broken daughter.

B