We both got ready for church in the morning as I struggled to make sure that my attitude today was better than yesterday. I admit that I wasn't off to a very good start. I wasn't doing too bad until her chocolate bar that I was holding for her melted in my jacket pocket. By the time I noticed, I smeared the warm treat all over the inside of my pants. I didn't have my truck so I couldn't drive home and just change them. Mortifying.
We got back from church and I fought against more feelings of irritation. Part of my frustrations stem from the fact that I felt very trapped this weekend. I temporarily have no truck (long story) so can drive nowhere. My best friends here are 45 minutes away without a vehicle and several hours away in Wyoming with her husband. I can't just pick up the phone and call someone since my cell phone battery is dead and my only charger in my truck, which I don't have...(sigh).
Things culminated before dinner when Maria Rapha told me that loved 50 Cent (a rapper). She also defiantly told me that she now liked Hannah Montana and didn't care what she did with her boyfriend. At that point, I excused myself to go take a shower (aka pray in private).
My prayer was not that God would change Maria's heart, but mine. I have been so selfish these last couple of days. I can feel the battle waging around me, but it is hard to fight. Thankfully, my faithful blog readers have been lifting me up in prayer. Tonight, I felt the breakthrough.
It started just before bed. I climbed in next to her and read from the "Tale Of Desperaux" as we always do. I then read to her from the Bible, which is always our custom. But tonight, she asked me to read more to her. As she snuggled closer to me and I read to her from John, I could start to see clearly again. My heart of stone was again transformed into a hard of flesh. By the time we began our prayers, I was ready for what God had in store.
I have not had the honor of hearing many eight-year-olds pray. It is difficult to describe. Maria's prayers tonight sent chills down my spine. I could sense the presence of God in such a cool way. She prayed for the children of northern Uganda and that God would change the hearts of those who were kidnapping children and forcing them to be child soldiers. She prayed for those teenagers who were involved in gangs--that were "trying to follow Jesus but were making bad choices." And my eyes welled up with tears as she thanked God for sparing my little sister's life in India, while still remembering to pray for those who died on the train she should have been on. I was frustrated with Maria Rapha today, but then she prayed... and I was humbled by her sincerity and thankful to God for allowing me to be a part of this young girl's life.
He is so amazing,
B
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