So It's Raining

In the last 24 hours, I have realized something: be careful what you pray for! Last night, I ask God to continue to mold and challenge me. Today my prayer was answered.

I took Maria Rapha home at 4:00 as usual. We then folded some clothes and I tried to recover from a difficult day. Usually we would immediately sit down and practice her reading. Today, we went to pray at a fellow teacher's house instead. When we got back, Maria Rapha asked if she could watch a movie. I told her only after we practiced reading. She sat down in a huff. I tried to work with her (phonics) but she kept giving me this bad attitude. I then told her she that she needed to go to her room. She refused. Sensing the storm coming, I told her she could move or be grounded for rest of the weekend. She quickly retorted, "You can't ground me this weekend because I am moving back in with my grandma." I told her that this was not an option--she could go with her mom or stay with me and she chose to stay. With a very smug look on her face, she told me that her grandmother had told her that she could move back in with her if she wanted. I was speechless as this was news to me. When I regained my powers of speech, I told her that was her choice but as long as she was in my house, she would follow my rules. She then ran off into her room and began packing.

I am pleased to say that Maria's anger was soon replace with stubborness. She proceeded to pack every possession that she could fit into her backpacks, hell-bent on leaving tomorrow morning. She even asked me if she could or couldn't take certain items. My flesh wanted to tell her she couldn't take the mud off the carpet, but I let her take everything I had bought her or friends had sent to her. I did, however, put my foot down when she requested that I allow her to take the bedding off the bed.

At one point during the night, she asked me if I would miss her when I left and what I would do. I thought she was then going to change her mind, but she said nothing. I put to her bed as usual, even reading a chapter from our bedtime story and praying with her. She still cuddled with me in bed and kissed on the cheek as is her custom. But she still said she was leaving.

I called her grandmother and spoke briefly with her over the phone. Her grandmother was clearly frustrated with Maria Rapha and told me that she couldn't take her back and that she was "burnt-out" on kids. I took this opportunity to explain that I wanted to keep Maria and if she would simply tell her that she could not leave, we would be fine. She never gave me that assurance in stone, but she did say that if Maria Rapha left, she had to go with her mom. Since her mom lives in Nebraska, that would mean it would more than likely be several days if not weeks until she could come up and pick her.

So, I am again in limbo. I have no idea how long Maria Rapha will be staying with me or if this will all be over in the morning. But I am still trying to trust.

Love,
B